Is this going to end well

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Pilot Episode.

To recap what has happened so far. Seen a Pro-Domme for a couple of sessions, and it was a good experience, but I have struggled with the aftermath mentally and the philosophical nature of what is Professional Domination.

After reading a lot of stuff, I'm starting to get that cynical feeling that the nature of it is not for me. I mean it's kind of the white elephant in the room, that the dynamic is a fantasy and you get to bottom-top by requesting what you want? Or that's what has been the common opinion from views I've read online that has made me rather paranoid.

But that kind of changed for me when I visited my Pro-Domme. She basically came in and suggested all these pretty extreme things that she liked, that would make no sense to mention for business reasons - like she wanted to drown me and make me bleed stuff along those lines. So I thought well maybe it is possible for a Pro-Domme to BE HERSELF, play to her wants and needs, without compromising it to create a fantasy to play to the clients' needs. She even talked to me and advised me about non-Professional BDSM relationships being a newbie. But then I read all this stuff that this is exactly the illusion a good Pro-Domme creates to get a client to repeat?

From my experience going to the Pro-Domme, it got rid of many of my preconceptions that it would be just a cold, play to your needs, business transaction and the Domme would be just going through the motions taking on a persona. I have learnt that Pro-Dommes are all different. For instance, the Pro-Domme who has 2 other jobs and does this PT, and lives the lifestyle, is probably more so doing it for the enjoyment than need of money compared to a person who has gotten into Pro-Domme as a primary source of income who has no interest in the lifestyle otherwise.

I can't be bothered doing the personal dating thing, and don't want a relationship, I just want a genuine personal BDSM experience even if it's paid for.

Which leads me to my current upcoming situation. So not totally fulfilled with the Pro-Domme mental aftermath, the lack of personal connection and doubts about reality/fantasy...I got in contact with a friend who I hadn't talked to in a while. I discovered she had just gone Pro-Domme! So I said hi and asked if it was possible to have professional sessions with her, but retain out friendship and interact on a personal level. She suggested we have a play session and go out for a meal afterwards to talk about it all, and we've been in touch every other day. I know what she likes and her genuine interest in BDSM, and likewise of mine. But then I do read about the cold facts about Pro-Domme, it's a service, you create the illusion of fantasy relationship for ongoing business etc...

Also on a smaller point, I've read keep the Domme's personal life and your personal life outside of a professional relationship, but at the same time do invest in us personally to buy us gifts and flowers. Doesn't really make sense, you already have our money, so what do we get for the gifts/flowers if the exchange is a business one? Also the client gets asked some very personal questions, like if he's married or or what job he does, or why he can't make it on weekends, yet the moment we ask she's interested in BDSM outside of the job it's considered offensive.

And how do lifestyle submissives who see Pro-Dommes socially on weekends, then session with them professionally and not have a little personal involvement in their professional dynamic? It can't always be so black and white?